


say you'll wait for me

by sundazed (adorabias)



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, a copious amount of leoara feelings tbh, everyone loves arashi just as it should be, knights-centric fic with an arashi focus, no official ships but there are little sprinkles of everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 03:03:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8732299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adorabias/pseuds/sundazed
Summary: Two lessons that Arashi learned the hard way: never underestimate the importance of waterproof mascara; and when you're a part of Knights, it's impossible to forget where you belong.
in which everything begins with rejection, Izumi's an unwilling teen mom, Leo somehow manages to sound like a proper King, and Arashi's heart gets pieced back together again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> starlight festival ever so gently messed me up so here you go
> 
> lovingly dedicated to my sweetest Rin, claps hands. thanks for being a warm light in my life, i adore you endlessly.

The winter was so cold.

Bundling a designer scarf closer, Arashi took a walk through the beautiful, snow-dusted streets of the shopping district by Yumenosaki. It was lovely, you know? Everything twinkled in the shop windows, bright reds and greens highlighting toys meant for children and beautiful clothes that could bring a smile to even the grouchiest adult’s face, too. Through the streets, people milled about with grins playing in their lips and the soft string lights lining the buildings illuminated the joy in their eyes that much more.

Ah, there was so much love in the air.

Some part of it warmed Arashi’s heart, gave the reminder of—

_The world still turns – be strong, everything still keeps going whether you’re here or not._

… mm, but wasn’t that the sad part of it too?

That candle of warmth that fought to fight through the biting cold of winter and disappoint, that droplet of sweet happiness, nearly flickered out and dried up.

Still, with a fussed pout and firm but gentle foot stomp against the pavement, Arashi refused to give in so easily.

_Really, what’s wrong with me today?_

Well, in truth – there was no running away from the answer to that question.

All bad moods could be traced back to _something_ , if one had but the self-reflection and emotional intelligence to realize it.

And Arashi possessed both of those in spades.

(‘Thank you for your application,’ read a letter that was discarded in the studio that housed Knights’ fervent practices, crumpled and so ungracefully thrown off to the side in a fit of swirling disappointment, ‘but at this time, we will unfortunately have to decline your attendance to participate in this summer’s modeling excursion in Paris.’

It was taunting – even the rejection was cold.)

_Or is it… what’s wrong with me in general? Ahaha, what a nasty thought – I shouldn’t indulge like that. What a bad habit I could get into…!_

Self-love was a slippery slope, an uphill battle, a treacherous path up a mountain where Arashi stood as reigning Queen.

But it’s remarkable how just one wrong slip could send someone spiraling so inelegantly toward the bottom… wouldn’t you say?

Funny how a lovely designer scarf, one that even Izumi had complimented though he’d cautioned that it might be too out of season by the time that Arashi got to Paris, could suddenly feel like a noose.

What happens when your ambitions start to lift you a little too far off your feet – only to end in a short drop and a sudden stop?

… You know?

Shutting violet eyes tightly, Arashi took a breath.

_It’s fine, if I can’t invest in myself – I still have the opportunity to invest in other people. When one door closes, another one opens_.

Right?

Staying with Knights over the summer – after Izumi and Leo both took their final walks out of the school – would be a beneficial experience. Since it would be back down to the three of them, it would be absolutely impossible to expect Ritsu and Tsukasa to shoulder that all on their own.

_What was I thinking in the first place?_

For some reason, that got the snowstorm that threatened to bowl Arashi over to quiet – the ache that was blooming began to subside with a quiet mantra:

_It’s not about me. It’s not about me. It’s not about me._

_It’s never been about me._

That’s just how it was.

An aggravated huff became a small visible puff in the chilly air, Arashi watching the little cloud drift up before pursing pink lips in a small frown, complaints being released along with it. “Oohh, I’m going to annoy _myself_ at this rate! What’s with all this complaining? Am I becoming Izumi-chan? Ahh, _spare me!_ ”

“Haaa? The hell is that supposed to mean?”

Uh-oh.

“Ummm, speak of the devil and he shall appear?” Arashi tried weakly, not at all expecting that particular, irritated voice to pipe up from behind.

The turn to face the other Knight was slow, almost painful.

“Wahahaha, ooohhh _burn!_ ” Leo cracked up next to Izumi, at least appreciative of the joke whereas Izumi was raising a brow that Arashi expertly translated to, ‘I didn’t even do anything to you yet.’

Yet.

“O-Ou-sama too?” Arashi stuttered, so clearly taken off-guard. Oh lord, they both managed show up right in the middle of a rare moment of existential angst. Did it show? Could emotional crises damage make-up? Was there a Sephora skin potion for that? “What’s this? I’m not interrupting your date, am I—”

“I have a few questions,” Izumi interrupted, placing a hand on his hip before the other glove stretched out to wave a finger in front of Arashi’s face, “Number one: how dare you? Number two: where the hell is your phone? Number three: how dare you _again_ if you think I’d waste my time with—”

“Oh another one! Shots fired – this time at me?! Wahahaha, the city’s aflame!”

“My phone?” Arashi echoed, before reaching into a coat pocket – fishing out the device that had been turned off hours ago. “Mm, right here – not that it’s very useful. I turned it off.”

Izumi’s look now read a very loud and clear, ‘No shit, Sherlock.’

Really, they’d known each other a long time, hadn’t they? Arashi wondered what royalties could be received from a book translating the very expressive yet nuanced face of Izumi Sena.

“Oi, don’t give me that,” Arashi pouted. “I needed a little bit of me time, you know? Self-care is important!”

Yes, it sure was – if only that was what the past few hours were dedicated to. Progress was slow.

_But progress is progress. I shouldn’t be ashamed of how far I’ve come_.

In the face of rejection, that voice of constant self-reassurance and undying self-love had grown smaller and smaller – but it did not disappear. It would not die.

_I’ve worked too hard to be defeated so easily, you know?_

“Yeah well, I hope you’re done with that,” Izumi huffed, shoving his hands back into his pockets as he canted his head to the side. “We’re getting dinner. All of us. Kasa-kun and Kuma-kun are around here… somewhere.”

It was amazing how quickly Izumi could go from authoritative and effective mother figure to ‘excuse me, ma’am, I think these children belong to you? What do you mean you’ve never seen them before?’

“Oh, a family dinner?” Arashi couldn’t help but perk up at that – at least externally – a smile spreading across lovingly glossed lips. “I’m super up for that, yeah! What’s the occasion?”

It was funny what happened next.

Arashi couldn’t quite place the look on Izumi’s face.

(Now who could claim to be an expert on Izumi Sena’s expressions? The answer was no one. Tragic.)

His criminally pretty blue eyes softened a fraction, one brow raising almost in challenge, but the look was not judgmental. It was not harsh or critical.

In fact, it almost said ‘Catch up, Naru-kun.’

But what was that supposed to mean?

Then his gaze darted elsewhere, considerably more alarmed, and his feet already began to carry him elsewhere as he snapped, “Oi! Kuma-kun, stop taunting Kasa-kun with those sweets…?! Ugh, how can you two ever be left alone, huh? Soooo annoying!”

Looking over to where Izumi was stomping to, it was exactly as he’d described: Ritsu and Tsukasa plastered to a window display that made a delightful little town scene entirely out of gingerbread. Ritsu had that devious look in his eyes that he got when he knew he was doing something wrong but didn’t care – and poor Tsukasa, victim to that dreadful Sakuma sense of humor, was practically salivating at the expanse of sugar sitting right in front of him.

_That boy’s bank account is going to get a good exercise today, isn’t it_?

A soft, impressed whistle left Arashi’s remaining companion, their King and lord laughing to himself as he glanced up to Arashi, smile shining bright as a star. “We have fun, don't we, Naru?!”

No matter what dark cloud had been cast overhead earlier, Arashi couldn’t help but smile, gaze softening. “… Mmm. Yes we do, Ou-sama.”

_That’s why I don’t mind, I guess. I’ll stay here for all of you. I have a place here… and I have to do my best for it._

“Heh, I think so too,” Leo hummed, as if that wasn’t the most circular exchange Arashi had partaken in for at least the past two weeks. Their leader watched the scene in front of them unfold fondly – like a true monarch watching over his beloved confidants. The King and his Round Table. “I hope you have fun with us too… with me, you know? Since we didn’t get to do much of that before.”

_Before you left?_

Arashi smiled, obscuring any trace of that thought. “Mm! Of course, Ou-sama, say the word and I’ll be there. You know I’m always around for a good time…!”

“Even today?”

Lips not even twitching a fraction, Arashi hummed. “Of course!”

“Even though you don’t get to go to Paris?”

A pause – one heartbeat. Two. Three.

“… I missed the trash can, didn’t I,” Arashi tittered worriedly, hand coming to rest against rosy cheek – a blushing pink against the cold. “Oh dear, it’s not very ladylike to litter, is it? Sorry about that…!”

“Wahahaha, you’re going to apologize to me about being messy with papers?” Leo’s grin turned a bit sharp – teasing.

For some reason, it made it easier for Arashi to remain relaxed.

_Oh, he’s good._

“Well…” Arashi couldn’t bite back a sly smile in return, a tilt of the head. “you said it, Ou-sama, not me.”

“Mm, that’s why I’m saying you don’t have to apologize! Not for any of that… but you know, as soon as we found it, Sena decided that we all needed to get dinner? Of course Suo would be willing, same for Rittsu, they’re a bunch of gluttons, ahah!” Green eyes brightened at the very mention of his Knights. It was sweet. “But you asked what the occasion was, so…! I guess you could’ve made up the answer if you wanted to – that’s what I would do – but I thought I’d give you the answer if you wanted it.”

Maybe it would've been better if Arashi had been left wondering.

_So we’re here for my failure, huh?_

Arashi glanced to the side, didn’t voice that ugly, ugly thought, and merely sighed instead. “I didn’t mean to make everyone worry…”

“You never do – you make sure we never have a reason to.”

Violet eyes glanced back – to their venerable king and leader – and wondered just how much their lord truly grasped.

Arashi knew Knights inside and out, but that came with practice and time.

Over the year, little things made themselves known over and over again:

When Izumi was _actually_ hungry and snap sharper between sips of water, frustrated with the rigorous standards he held himself to;

When Ritsu chose to skip class because he was distressed instead of just laziness, sleeping a little harder as if he was trying to escape reality itself;

When Tsukasa’s self-esteem dipped with his energy instead of just fatigue, his head bowing a little bit as he recognized the moments when his arrogance carried him a little too close to the sun.

Those were the days when Arashi would be present.

Dragging Izumi to something to eat after classes, shoving bits of cake past those insult-riddled lips even as the other grumbled between forkfuls of pastry heaven;

Laying down a pillow next to Ritsu to sit on and letting him put his head in a lap while he napped, giving him that bit of human contact so he didn’t feel alone even in his dreams;

A playful hipcheck against Tsukasa to knock the little heir right out of his own toxic thoughts, bringing his energy up with encouragement and adoration so strong that he didn’t have the room to think of anything else.

That was the type of influence that Arashi wanted to have over the world – encouraging, positive, full of warmth and light.

_Not this. Not today’s me._

“Well that’s a little bit of a prima donna thing, isn’t it, Ou-sama?” Arashi questioned softly, tucking hands into pockets and nose dipping further into designer scarf, making every effort to ward off the heartache beginning to blossom. “I’m dramatic, I’m not _that_ dramatic.”

“Well that’s good…! Knights is always a little dramatic,” Leo hummed, a little melody laced even into that noise. Ah, this genius boy. “So you fit right in…!

“But… you know, Knights has always been pretty sacrificing.”

Arashi glanced over, tried to keep any treasonous thoughts away and yet one slipped in, softly, a whisper of the mind:

_That’s your throne too, isn’t it?_

“And I don’t want you to do that anymore.”

Wait—

“Me?” Violet eyes widened, turned to face Leo with surprise and confusion, something tight coiling in Arashi’s chest.

_No, that’s not me. I’m not doing enough. I can still do more; just watch me—_

“Uh-huh!” Leo nodded, gaze challenging as one eyebrow raised, “Why? Did I stutter? That’d be bad – a king’s command should be clear!”

“No, you didn’t, it’s just…” Arashi frowned, feeling entirely out of depth, “I didn’t expect that – um, at all. I don’t… think that I’m sacrificing anything for Knights at all, really.”

_Staying for Knights wasn’t a choice I made – it was something decided for me… aren’t you mad about that?_

“Well, you’re hiding things from us… and maybe that’s just how it’s going to be – but it doesn't have to be like that. And maybe you’ll sacrifice things for us in the future! But… Naru, I don’t want you to do that,” Leo’s voice grew softer toward the end, fonder. Almost nostalgic. “I hope you keep soaring.”

“I’d call this more of a crash landing, Ou-sama.”

_See? At least when I’m sad, I’m at least elegantly self-deprecating about it. Still got it._

“This time, maybe, but not next time!”  Leo assured with so much certainty that Arashi almost fell for it.

Almost.

“Did I really look that bad? Do I really look like I need that much consoling? How embarrassing…” another soft sigh floated into the cold air.

“It’s not.”

That was Leo’s answer: stern and firm.

Words that Arashi normally wouldn’t use to describe Leo: stern and firm.

Ah, that really _was_ nostalgic, wasn’t it?

Rueful smile spreading across Arashi’s lips, the blond couldn’t help but press fingers against the expensive coat fabric, crossed arms turning into a self-hug.

“Are you sure, Ou-sama? Because – it feels kind of embarrassing.

“You’re all worried about me… but that’s not what I’m supposed to be here for,” Arashi explained, violet eyes shining ever so slightly. “Nee-chan is supposed to be better than this, you know? Have everything figured out – be the guiding light for everyone else…! But here I am… and I don’t feel like any of that right now.”

_How can I?_

Yet Leo didn't appear to take that answer well, instead fervently shaking his head so fast that Arashi wondered if he'd whip himself in the face with his own little ponytail.

“Then… that’s okay, too. You know if I could – I’d fight against whoever made the decision to not let you go to Paris…! But this is just one decision, one little hurdle and—

“Naru, don’t you know that you’re not made up of your mistakes?”

Like a flame that built upon itself, that sucked up all the air in a room, Leo burned all the brighter in the face of Arashi’s uncertainty.

“Don’t lose yourself because of this… Heh, I had to have someone tell me a while ago that it wasn’t a terrible thing to cry,” Leo continued, green eyes glancing over to where Izumi still stood bickering with Ritsu and Tsukasa. A small, sheepish smile curved on his lips before he looked back to Arashi. “It’s not weak – because what you feel is real… and it doesn’t mean that you’re broken forever.

“Even on those days where you feel like the tears will never stop once you start because, you know what? They will.”

Arashi tried to deny that fact that it started to feel like those tears were beginning to well up now. Oh _no_.

“Because tears will let us know when you need us to help you… and then sure we’ll find a way to make them stop, all of us together.”

Something uncomfortable curled in the back of Arashi’s throat. Something stung at the corners of violet eyes. Something made glossed lips tremble ever so slightly – before a laugh broke through.

“H-Hey… Where did all that come from? Saying something so… kingly?”

“You know Suo said the same thing… Is it really that odd?” Leo laughed ever so slightly, gaze warming even as the sting in Arashi’s eyes grew stronger, sight growing obscured. “I’m saying it because I’m right – and because I know that you’ll bounce back from this! Easy!

“Because you’re Naru…! You’re a storm – a tempest! You’ll rock the whole world, not just Paris. And then – and then when you want to come home, we’ll be here.”

Arashi didn’t need to question it for a second – they both knew that when Leo said ‘we’, he meant Knights. All of Knights.

Their Knights.

Expression crumbling, composure slipping out of perfectly manicured hands, eyes welling with tears, Arashi still smiled – brokenly, beautifully.

“I want to be here, too, you know.”

_And that’s the truth. That’s the truth, I swear it._

Boots crunched against snow – Ritsu, Tsukasa, and Izumi joined them. Cautiously, curiously, gazes gently inquiring even as they carefully placed themselves around Arashi so that no one else would be able to bear witness to the model’s tears.

Still, it didn’t stop the words from flowing.

“Don’t get me wrong – I still want to go to Paris, I want to see the world…

“But I love it here, too… I – we changed, you know? From what we used to be. And I was worried. I wondered, Ou-sama, if you would be mad that we weren't the same Knights that you left behind—”

“Not even a little bit,” Leo interrupted, just to make sure.

A little laugh escaped Arashi, even with the acceptance of the embroidered handkerchief that Tsukasa carried like he was a prince charming out of a storybook.

(And he was, he was their little prince.)

“—I feel like we really had to force ourselves in… we had to break in Knights entirely, like a new pair of shoes or something, heh. Or maybe more like…

“Maybe more like a diamond under pressure,” Arashi sniffed gently, even as all the other Knights stood by like sentries, looking unbearably fond. “But we shine, don’t we?”

The war was hard.

Perhaps more difficult than any of them could ever truly know – harder than they’d had the heart to tell Tsukasa, even though he would certainly know one day.

But in the end, only two units that had existed before were still able to persist, to live on even if they were ugly, tattered versions of themselves. Ryuseitai and Knights.

For Ryuseitai, it made some sort of sense. They were based on unity, strength, and banding together to succeed against all odds.

Knights wasn’t.

“Knights is made up of very independent people, that’s what we always said… We have our own agendas, our own goals, and we do things without each other a lot,” Arashi admitted sheepishly, knowing full well that it was inevitable. “But isn’t it a miracle that despite all that… we’re still together?”

Knights and its bloody history was an untold story of Yumenosaki – but there had been plenty whose dreams fell in broken pieces at their feet. Yet despite all that, the five of them were still there.

Even when Leo had gone, they stood waiting by their empty throne until the day that they could all be reunited.

They weren’t disappointed.

Arashi sniffed, not sure what prompted the tears now – though at the very least, it was not bitter disappointment. That much was certain.

“There has to be a reason why we’re the ones who have lasted this long – there has to be a reason why we’re the ones who are together now, after so many others have come and gone.”

Tsukasa’s own eyes shone against the light, as if he too was moved to tears. Ritsu’s gaze turned pillowy soft, fond beyond measure. Even Izumi smiled, a small huff of amusement escaping him.

Leo merely stared at Arashi as if the words that had been recited were as holy as scripture.

“Mm, I agree, Naru! And that reason… is you.

"Knights wouldn't be like this without you - without your giving heart. And it's that heart that we, your Knights, also want to protect."

The winter was so cold.

But the tears that spilled over the corners of Arashi’s violet eyes were warm, the trails that they left down perfect skin evidence of feelings that were too strong to contain – that bubbled over without permission.

_This is it._

_This is the evidence that I’m still alive._

Leo’s green eyes were warm, his head tilting to the side in understanding even as his arms wrapped around Arashi’s gently trembling form without hesitation. Their leader was warm too, Arashi curling into him automatically.

_Because I can still feel things like this. My heart is aching again – but it’s a good ache this time_

“Mm? That’s not fair, Ou-sama,” Ritsu intoned lazily, shifting closer already. “Naru-chan’s always so warm, you can’t hog that all to yourself even if you’re our King…”

A second set of arms joined them, engulfing the two in far more warmth than anyone would ever expect from a cold-blooded vampire.

Arashi couldn’t help the little squeal that escaped at the feeling of Ritsu’s lips being pressed to the skin that wasn’t covered up by scarf.

“Ritsu-chan, that’s too much…!”

“Is it?” Ritsu asked, too slow and too smug to really be apologetic, “I just wanted to show my appreciation for you too, Naru-chan…”

Even as a deeper blush colored already rosy cheeks, Arashi couldn’t help the way that those words managed to make heartbeats speed up either.

_Appreciation? For me?_

_Hey, I still love myself more than anyone else in this whole world, you know?_

_But you guys…._

“W-Wait! Is this a _group hug_? Me too, me too…!” Tsukasa piped up then, adding to the set of limbs their little tangle.

“Oh, you want to be spoiled too, don’t you, Suo?” Leo laughed, the sound of it managing to feel like a crackling, warm fireplace.

“Not by you, Leader…”

Rather, Arashi blinked in surprise as Tsukasa moved closer, forehead bumping against Arashi’s own shoulder.

“And I don’t think I’m the one who deserves to be spoiled today… I know not the reason for your tears, Narukami-senpai, but ah - I hope they are happy ones? And if they aren’t, then we shall amend the situation immediately…!”

It was so naively pure, so unconditionally and unbearably dedicated and doting that Arashi couldn’t stop the charmed laugh that bubbled forth.  “How princely of you, Tsukasa-chan, I think I’m swooning?”

Even if Tsukasa’s pout was muffled by the way he buried his face into Arashi’s shoulder, it could still be heard in his petulant “Are you making fun of me…”

Wiggling one hand out of their hug to run fingers through Tsukasa’s hair, Arashi laughed softly.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

_You guys let me believe that you love me too._

_This isn’t a trick, right?_

“Hey, I didn’t ask for this!” Izumi complained - as expected - even as Leo’s fingers wrapped around his slender wrist and dragged him into the hug. A noise of complaint squeaked through as Ritsu’s immediate answer was to wrap his arm around Izumi as well, trapping him in, “Ugh, you’re all disgusting.”

Arashi felt the rumbles of laughter just as much as they were heard - a steady hum of reassurance.

Ah, wasn’t Knights such a warm place now?

“Everything’s such a pain ever since Ou-sama came back… Is this the problem of having the King piece?” Izumi huffed, apparently not even letting a hug quiet his complaints. “He’s not even supposed to be the strongest piece on the board…”

Arashi thought it was a trick of the light - an imagined little winter mirage - but Izumi’s eyes darted over to lock their gazes.

There it was again. A dry throat.

A dry throat caused by none other than Izumi’s steadfast expression, confident and even as those dreadfully promising words left his lips:

“That’s always been the Queen.”

“I-Izumi-chan?” Arashi stuttered, heart hammering against the ribs that confined it.

A shake of the head and eyes darting elsewhere - but Arashi still knew what Izumi wanted to say without another word needing to escape his lips.

‘Endless possibility, Naru-kun. That’s you.’

It might be in bad taste given all the efforts of Knights to stop it but - Arashi thought that it was inevitable for the tears to start up again.

_Ah, please… don’t let this be some nasty trick._

“Aahhh, Sena, look what you did!” Leo wailed, his full body moving with the force of his surprise - and thus pulling their huddle to and fro with him.

“Shut up, that’s not my fault!” Izumi hissed, “Now stop moving or we’ll all end up on the floor, stupid Ou-sama!”

“You’re raising a racket too, Secchan,” Ritsu added to the chorus of complaints.

“Ugh,” Tsukasa almost sounded like he’d be sick, “All of you are so _over the top!_ How are we going to get dinner like this…?!”

Even through the tears, Arashi laughed.

Bright and happy, full of sunshine and sweetness - like a fire stoked by the spirit and kindness of their beloved unit, Arashi laughed.

“How are we going to get anything done like this….”

_You know, it’s funny..._

Knights was a mess.

Perhaps that’s what characterized them more than anything else - more than their gallantry, their chivalry, their posturing and dance routines and independent personalities. The simple fact that no matter what, there would be no hiding their broken pieces, no way to undo the past mistakes that left them all fractured and imperfect.

Yet here they were, together.

And that in itself was a miracle, wasn't it?

There had to be a reason for that - a purpose behind putting all these terribly proud, loud, and ruined people together.

Maybe it was so that they could be like this, Arashi thought.

Maybe it was so they could have another reason to cry - but this time the tears would not be born out of despair or desperation or disaster.

Just warmth.

Just this overwhelming, all-encompassing, sweet warmth that could put even broken people back together.

Winter was so cold. Life could be so unfair. Dark thoughts still laid in wait for any moment of weakness to spring forth.

Yet as Arashi was surrounded by these people - these Knights - all of those thoughts couldn’t feel farther away.

_I’ve always believed in loving myself more than anything, but…._

_I think I’m starting to fall in love with all of you too._  


**Author's Note:**

> if you want to play a fun game (ha) you should listen to Usher's cover of Wait For It and let yourself be consumed by Knights feelings
> 
> as always, catch me at @sunwritten on twitter! i'm doing winter giftfics so hit me up...!!


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